New Beginnings

Well yesterday I was up at 6am and out the door at 7 on my way over to Eugene to finally get my foot in the door of the Uro/Gyno I will be seeing. It was a four hour trip through fog, snow, slush and rain but pretty just the same. Lots of mountains, pines, lakes and rivers. If only I had had the time to stop and take pictures, but not the case since it was my first trip over. I did not want to be late. No I ended up getting there 2 and 1/2 hours before my scheduled appointment.

So first thing I did was get some much needed caffeine and protein in my stomach. Then I spent about an hour shopping and exploring Target. Haven't been in one in at least 6 years.

I soon went back to the Dr.s office with hopes of maybe getting in a bit early. No such luck. When I finally met with the Nurse Practitioner I was what you might say "totally confused". Did I tell you, I had not slept one wink the night before. So needless to say, I was very tired, cranky and really just wanted the first visit over with so I could just get the appointment with the Dr. herself to get my surgery date scheduled and get back over the mountain before dark. Wasn't going to happen.

I was given a thorough exam, shown and explained why I must do certain things long before the Dr. will even consider surgery. I am totally overwhelmed by this point.

Here's the kicker......I must begin living gluten free. You say, "not the end of the world". I say, "where do I begin?" On top of that I will be traveling back and forth each month for the next four months straight having specific tests done on my bladder. Who knew so much would be involved with preparing for this surgery? I'm talking bladder and hysterectomy. The nurse said it was the only way before the Dr. would even think about doing it. She must see how my bladder lays, where other organs are sitting, where things should or should not be and how they are actually functioning.

So now that I have learned what I need to do to begin my lifelong journey, I have spent today researching books to read, blogs that have gluten free recipes and such. My best blog so far is glutenfreegoddess.blogspot.com. She really tells you how to begin, what to begin with and also has recipes galore. Just reading what I have read so far has taken some of the overwhelming feeling away from me. I almost wish I had stayed a vegetarian all the many years ago.

Oh well, this is what my life is to be, so its time to get my head out of my you know what, quit with my pitty party, and make the most of my remaining years on this earth.

I think my biggest worry is not learning how to eat without gluten (not that it won't be hard because it will), but the fact that once I have the surgery, I am not allowed to lift, move, or pull anything over 5 pounds for 3 whole months! This will be my biggest challange of all. How does one really live like that? The nurse said this is why many women choose not to have the surgery. I choose surgery. I do not choose to live smelling of urine all the time. I do not choose to live in this unbearable pain, not able to get out of bed or the recliner most days. I choose surgery. Even knowing weight limit will always be a problem, I choose surgery.

So now I begin a new way of eating (after 58 years), learning how my body tolerates what I put in it and doing the exercises I was given to do, all so that I am in the best shape possible for the much needed surgery. I can only pray that I can do this. I must do this.

Sorry for such a long, miserable, complaining post. I had to get this off my chest. On top of all this my computer took a dump and I am using my dh computer which keeps interrupting my writing. Ugh!

Well enough of this. I will certainly pray for strength to help me do this, for a positive attitude to help me get through this and for the sense it's going to take to make me continue to do this to better my health for years to come. And believe me, only the Lord knows how much I need him now.

to new beginnings,
Gail

p.s. sending out hugs and prayers to any other ladies who may be going through this particular problem.