Really? This is happening again...

                   
"You can become the person that you choose to be."

These are some powerful words.

I woke this morning mad at myself for feeling this way. This way being that feeling I get called 'panic' I've had now for the past five days. Really? This is happening to me again? I don't want it! I don't want to accept it! The last time I felt this way was over thirty years ago.

I ask myself, why is it happening to me again? How can I make it all go away, forever? I've been to the Doctors. My heart is fine. My thyroid is good. I think my hormones are just being a little finicky because of all these female problems going on. So come on! Is this fear of what is to come? Do I fear the surgery? No I don't think so. I think my fear is all about how things will get done around here when I am not able to do them.  I think my fear is my animals won't have the care from anyone else as good as they would from me. (me thinking stupid) I think my fear is knowing that my house will get much deeper with clutter and dirt than I can handle. (really? who cares?)

All this fear is 'bullshit!" I know it! And you know it! So why can't I control it?

The first thing I do this morning is I get on the internet and begin searching the web for answers. I'm reading about ways to control one's panic when it begins. I come across this article and begin reading that there are steps I can take to get myself under control. These are:

Step one.  Relax (easier said than done)
Step two.  Stop negative thinking. (It's that damn self conscience who's doing it)
Step three. Use coping statements. (Okay, now this is something I can remember in time of panic)
Step four.  Accept your feelings. (Now this is more like it. Who else is going to accept that you're nuts?)

So now that I have all the answers I must put them to work. I will do my best to look as though nothing is bothering me. I will do my best to go about my daily chores as though I haven't a care in the world. And I will do my best to not work myself up into a major, blown out PANIC ATTACK.

The one thing that truely hit me about all that she wrote is these ten words:
 "you can become the person you choose to be". By Pati McDermott CHT (certified hypnotherapist)

Powerful, beautiful, and meaningful words.

This will be my coping statement.

Just writing about it has helped. This is not easy for me or anyone who suffers with panic attacks. Just getting through each day the best we can is all we ask for. Pray for us and understand we pray all the time to feel and be "the person we choose to be", but better.

Blessings,
Gail